Loved First

July 9, 2026

From Eileen States

My son Tyler spoke for a family vespers this past Friday evening, two days before his brother’s wedding. These were his thoughts on the topic of love that set the tone for the whole weekend as we recognized the kind of love our God has for each of us. 

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. s It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. • Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Notice how Paul defines love. He spends as much time telling us what love is NOT as what it is. Love is not envious, boastful, proud, self-seeking, or easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. It rejoices in truth and never gives up.

This is not a trivial, cheap kind of love. It is the kind of love that chooses another person's good, even when it is costly.

C.S. Lewis captured this beautifully in The Four Loves: "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained." That kind of love is challenging because it requires sacrifice. Lewis also reminds us, "To love at all is to be vulnerable."

Moving our attention back to the author of this letter to the Corinthians. Was Paul writing more from a perspective of the love he was able to give others, or the love he has received? Definitely the love he had received from Jesus Himself. 

When we think back on moments in Paul’s life when he needed a love that was patient and kind the memory of when Jesus met him on the road to Damascus comes to the forefront. Jesus loved Paul and that love left Jesus vulnerable to the point that He asked Paul to His face why he had been spending so much time persecuting Him. Jesus responded not with condemnation but with patient, transforming love. Jesus pursued Paul, forgave him, and gave him a new purpose.

If your Bible includes cross-references, you may notice something interesting. The phrase in 1 Corinthians 13:4, "Love is patient, love is kind," points to only one other verse in the Bible: 1 Peter 4:8.

Peter writes, "Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8). Patient, Christlike love doesn't ignore sin, but it is willing to forgive, extend grace, and pursue restoration. Just as Jesus' love covered Paul's past and transformed his future, He calls us to love others with that same kind of grace.

Were there times in Peter’s life when he was in need of a love that was patient and kind? Jesus loved Peter and that love left Jesus vulnerable to the point of denial.  Peter’s denial of Jesus is recorded in all four gospels, yet only John’s gospel records the redemption of Peter. 

Few failures are more heartbreaking than denying your closest friend three times. Yet after the resurrection, Jesus sought Peter out. In John 21, Jesus lovingly restored him by asking three times, "Do you love Me?" Rather than dwelling on Peter's failure, Jesus entrusted him with the care of His flock. Jesus met Peter where he was and patiently led him forward.

It is no surprise that Peter would later write, "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” Peter knew firsthand what patient and kind love looked like because he had received it.

The same is true for us.

Jesus is patient with our weaknesses. He is kind in our failures. He does not keep a record of our wrongs when we come to Him in repentance. Instead, He restores, renews, and calls us to walk with Him again.

Because we have been loved in this way, we are invited to extend that same love to others. We can be patient because He has been patient with us. We can show kindness because He has shown kindness to us. We can forgive because we have been forgiven.

"We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19

Tyler States